Well, without the blood though, in my case.
hope there wouldn't be any.
ugh, the stupid headache is back.
that piercing pain, it wouldn't bloody leave me alone. it wont bloody go away. every single morning, i'll wake up feeling okay, then hours later, in the afternoon- by 11 o'clock, the pain will come, taking me down.
it won't go away, even after two white pills that had been my breakfast for almost a month now, it will never go. that comeback would come with a layer of nausea. making me feel sick, leaving me helpless. everything would sound so loud, like they're on megabass. The television, the traffic, footsteps, mom's voice telling me to stop overreacting over a normal headache. normal is it? i sure pray to god it is.
i wish i could turn all the volume off. every afternoon i'l be lying on my bed, helpless- waiting for my head to stop spinning. Pressing a pillow over my head to comfort it, it doesn't work anymore. Nothing works. it does hurt. Mom doesn't believe so. Last year, Aizat had severe headaches, mom took him to the hospital, the doctor said it was nothing.
This made me recall over the time when i asked mom if i could go get glasses because i couldn't see. Mom said im being ridiculous. When Dilla was young, she wanted to wear glasses so bad. Eventhough she didn't have problems. So mom went to get her glasses. She never even wore 'em. but bloody fuck, kenapa? why the fck would i ask for something that i don't want or nee, ma? ugh. nevermind, let me face all this. just give me the strength to do so. give me time to live, and to find answers.
It's funny that everyone wants to go to heaven,
but no one wants to die.
Ironic isn't it?
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